For the next few days, I think I will provide a summary of various aspects of 2012. Let's start small.

Things I Regret Purchasing in 2012

1. A purse with an abstract motif that I did not inspect carefully enough before buying. I thought it was flowers? Fish? Something? As my friend Joe helpfully pointed out several weeks later, it is skulls. SKULLS. I did not want a purse with skulls on it.

Oh, if anyone out there wants a purse with skulls on it, I'm happy to sell it to you for a nominal price! I can send you pictures so that you do not fall into a regrettable purchase as well.

2. Jeans one size too small. Intentionally, as motivation to lose weight. Self-fat-shaming, thy name is Greta. The jeans aren't even really that great; I dunno why I thought I would see them as a goal.

3. Three-inch, electric blue heels. The style was named Greta, and I am enough of a narcissist to love all things that share my name. When was I ever going to wear these things, I who avoid at all costs wearing shoes with heels even half that height? No idea. Meryl acted as a primeval force of reason when she chewed these shoes beyond recognition.

4. Two seven-packs of men's white t-shirts. No one needs 14 of those things, even if they are really comfy.

5. Tofu, three times, because I did not eat it. This is confusing and counter-intuitive, since I do actually like tofu, and it's not like it is hard to prepare. But I just forgot to eat it, somehow. And I felt really self-conscious making it for Cris, the same way I feel self-conscious listening to music I love in front of other people.

Things I Do Not Regret Purchasing

1. Men's white dress shirt. I truly maintain that, someday, I will make it into an amazing tunic thing. 

2. Justin Timberlake's FutureSex/LoveSounds CD. Gaaaah such a good album.

3. A ringholder shaped like a giraffe. I've worn the same two rings every day for at least five years, and every night, a giraffe wears my rings around its neck while I sleep, you guys. I hope it goes out and has adventures. Also, now I don't lose my rings in the detritus of earrings and receipts on top of my dresser.

4. Meryl's new memory foam dog bed. I did not think I would ever purchase anything made of memory foam for an animal, because, come on, animals don't care about memory foam. Fun fact: You know who cares about memory foam? Meryl the hound. She loves it. 

See also: dog sweaters, though that's more because I think it's funny to watch the dogs walking around wearing them.

5. Coffee. So, so much coffee. Actually, maybe this should go in a third category: "Things I Purchased With Which I Have a Love/Hate Relationship." I needed the coffee, and it was delicious, but my caffeine addiction has gotten out of control. 

Lately, I have been drinking a fair amount of coffee with other people, catching up on the past three years and actually developing friendships. It's been nice. I don't regret buying too many lattes and developing a crippling caffeine addiction, for that.

If you've suffered through this whole thing, here is your reward. Or maybe your punishment, depending on how you feel about puns.